Perfect piece to read first thing this morning. I knew it was going to be a dark day, but this was like a soft nod from a stranger crossing the street. We all might deal with thoughts of suicide, so it’s comforting to see writing about shared moments of despair. Thank you, Alex.
"I really want to see Dune Messiah," is amazing. This is how I also cope and keep it pushing. I don't have any major goals in life. But I love music and movies so much it's enough to keep me curious and holding on. I guess my major goal in life is to enjoy myself.
This is was what pushed me to finally reach out to my therapist of ~6ish years and confront my fear of getting a new therapist going into my thirties. She's amazing, but she just had a kid in her forties and won't be doing in-person any longer. Your authenticity and genuinity are obvious in both your real life and your writing.
On another note - you nailed the mindset needed to work in substance abuse counseling and seeing frequent flyers. Ill definitely be using "sometimes a second chance means getting another day to try to fuck up a little less" with my clients. Thanks, mr. lawyer man.
The protective factors thing was new to me my last hotline call. In those moments you’re not thinking of the tentative 2026 Universal trip with your in-laws, your pets next birthday. Instead you’re googling shotguns, pills, combinations of chemicals, angry that there is really no glowing exit sign “easy” way out.
I’m glad you’re still here and getting help. We need more people like you Alex, not less. As much as it hurts being alive sometimes.
Hey thanks! I wont do it either, i decided some time ago. Its very grounding to listen and read about other peoples thoughts on the matter. When you said you wanted to watch dune messiah i laughed with you after that haha. Thanks again, this means a lot kinda, even tho we dont know eachother.
My baby nephew squeals and claps when he sees me! It’s life-affirming, the only thing that truly keeps me here. (that and the fact that dying is expensive for immigrants and I ain’t getting buried here)
This resonates with me so much. So beautifully and honestly written. I think so many of us have similar feelings. Personally, I’m only still here for my cats, and because I want to play the last installment of the Final Fantasy 7 remake. It may not be a lot to some, but it’s enough to keep me going in this difficult world most days. Also, it would be nice to see Palestine truly free before I make my exit. ❤️
This is such a comforting yet simultaneously tragic piece. The thing about being suicidal is that you feel so isolated and in your own head. Of course you don't wish it on other people, but it is oddly affirming when you find someone else that has felt similarly. It makes you feel not so alone. Thanks for helping many of us feel not so alone.
I really want to see Dune Messiah too. And spit on some fascists' graves.
I want my daughters to learn that staying, even though you desperately want to leave, is possible. I'm hanging on as an act of endurance much more impressive, but much less visible, than climbing Mt. Everest. I'm the Sherpa Tenzing Norgay of not killing myself, carrying all the shit for the Edmund Hillarys who will get all the credit for my monumental effort.
As my therapist said to me as he was talking me off a ledge one day, "You can always kill yourself later." make it something you can procrastinate about.
Perfect piece to read first thing this morning. I knew it was going to be a dark day, but this was like a soft nod from a stranger crossing the street. We all might deal with thoughts of suicide, so it’s comforting to see writing about shared moments of despair. Thank you, Alex.
"I really want to see Dune Messiah," is amazing. This is how I also cope and keep it pushing. I don't have any major goals in life. But I love music and movies so much it's enough to keep me curious and holding on. I guess my major goal in life is to enjoy myself.
I was actually thinking about finally doing it before this notification came to me. I cried a lot just by looking at the title. Thank u lolo.
glad you’re here reading
One of the things I say to myself “I can’t let Isr**l outlive me”
Oh I LOVE this
“Second chances don’t always look like redemption.” This is so true. A raw piece I very much enjoyed. Keep it up Alex.
“If I’m still laughing, I’m still here. And if you’re still reading, so are you.”
I didn’t know I needed that. Thanks, man. And thanks for still being here.
This is was what pushed me to finally reach out to my therapist of ~6ish years and confront my fear of getting a new therapist going into my thirties. She's amazing, but she just had a kid in her forties and won't be doing in-person any longer. Your authenticity and genuinity are obvious in both your real life and your writing.
On another note - you nailed the mindset needed to work in substance abuse counseling and seeing frequent flyers. Ill definitely be using "sometimes a second chance means getting another day to try to fuck up a little less" with my clients. Thanks, mr. lawyer man.
The protective factors thing was new to me my last hotline call. In those moments you’re not thinking of the tentative 2026 Universal trip with your in-laws, your pets next birthday. Instead you’re googling shotguns, pills, combinations of chemicals, angry that there is really no glowing exit sign “easy” way out.
I’m glad you’re still here and getting help. We need more people like you Alex, not less. As much as it hurts being alive sometimes.
Hey thanks! I wont do it either, i decided some time ago. Its very grounding to listen and read about other peoples thoughts on the matter. When you said you wanted to watch dune messiah i laughed with you after that haha. Thanks again, this means a lot kinda, even tho we dont know eachother.
The only email I want to receive rn is more of this.
My baby nephew squeals and claps when he sees me! It’s life-affirming, the only thing that truly keeps me here. (that and the fact that dying is expensive for immigrants and I ain’t getting buried here)
This resonates with me so much. So beautifully and honestly written. I think so many of us have similar feelings. Personally, I’m only still here for my cats, and because I want to play the last installment of the Final Fantasy 7 remake. It may not be a lot to some, but it’s enough to keep me going in this difficult world most days. Also, it would be nice to see Palestine truly free before I make my exit. ❤️
This was an oddly comforting and optimistic Sunday morning read. Thank you!
This is such a comforting yet simultaneously tragic piece. The thing about being suicidal is that you feel so isolated and in your own head. Of course you don't wish it on other people, but it is oddly affirming when you find someone else that has felt similarly. It makes you feel not so alone. Thanks for helping many of us feel not so alone.
Thank you for writing this. I’m going to residential treatment next week. It’s exhausting here.
I really want to see Dune Messiah too. And spit on some fascists' graves.
I want my daughters to learn that staying, even though you desperately want to leave, is possible. I'm hanging on as an act of endurance much more impressive, but much less visible, than climbing Mt. Everest. I'm the Sherpa Tenzing Norgay of not killing myself, carrying all the shit for the Edmund Hillarys who will get all the credit for my monumental effort.
As my therapist said to me as he was talking me off a ledge one day, "You can always kill yourself later." make it something you can procrastinate about.